After a botched release on Amazon, which angered many readers who, in turn, directed their ire at me, I questioned everything about the business of indie publishing. Given the level of vehemence in the emails that flooded my inbox, I questioned my career as an author, my audience, and my work and wondered how we could have disconnected to the degree that people would attack me like that. And as I write this, I feel very alone, so I’m going to talk to you, one on one, because my ruined book release has left me vulnerable, and there are some things I need to say, most especially to those who felt the need to send those horrible messages.
Authors know the solitude of their chosen profession. While our family plays, our friends call and leave messages, the sports seasons come and go, and the world celebrates various holidays that mark the passage of time, we sit at our keyboards and spin tales of heartbreak, of heroism, of happily-ever-after. We don’t ask for pity, because we don’t need it. We write because we don’t know how not to write. We write because we are compelled to do it. We write for the love of words. We write as a catalyst for rapport on some invisible but powerful level with people we don’t know and will probably never meet. We wrestle with word choice, scenes, conflict, and plot. We build our worlds to share something intimate with our readers, total strangers, for the most part. Yet our audience knows us better than our relatives, in some respects, because they’ve read our most guarded secrets; they just don’t it. Most authors have something inside us that we want to express, which would otherwise remain hidden, and for me that is doubly true.
You see, I don’t post a lot of private information on my social media pages—I can’t do it. And it’s not from some sense of mistrust of my audience. Rather, it’s about the anxiety I experience at the mere thought of sharing things about myself with the reader. Those authors who post pics of their kids, their hubby, their significant others, their illnesses, their new haircut or costumes—I envy them and their candor, because I epitomize the eccentric author holed up in their writing cave, never venturing forth into the sunshine. Make no mistake, I’m happy in my cave. At my first signing, I vomited. Yes, I got physically sick at the prospect of meeting my fans. When I signed at RWA last summer, I took my little sister with me, primarily because I was terrified, and I perspired throughout the entire experience. When the signing ended, we went up to my room and got drunk. Seriously, if you ever meet me, in public, rest assured that I’m far more in awe of you than you are of me.
For me, the ambiguity and verbal texture I invest in my books is my stage, and it’s there I speak to the reader—to you. From the safety of my platform in the guise of an ebook, I talk to my reader in plain and simple terms. I tell them of my fears, my humiliations, my horrible mistakes, my heartbreaks, and my struggles, and I love the fact that I can impart so many personal details, but my reader has no idea what’s based on fact versus fiction. Believe me, my books are, in essence, me.
While my stories are intensely personal, they’re also my commodities. They’re my products. Like my colleagues, I spend months developing and composing my works, sparing no expense to bring my tales to fruition. My work is edited, proofed, and formatted, and I check and double-check everything when I prepare a book for publication. I have a professional artist design my covers. So when I first received reports of an incomplete file for Demetrius, I was sick. I immediately reached out to Amazon for a solution, but answers don’t come quick from the ‘Zon, and I watched helplessly, on my birthday, no less, as vehement 1-star reviews appeared. But the messages that filled my email shook me.
I wondered if the senders realized that I am a person. Behind the beautiful book covers and the words in black and white, there is a living and breathing human being enmeshed in the story, and if I’m cut I bleed. I have my own struggles, which I have yet to announce to the public, because, for me, it’s not real until I do so. On Sunday, I was sliced, diced, and run through a grinder by several readers who proclaimed a love for my books, and I found that a rather odd juxtaposition. I also discovered their love doesn’t extend to me, and I’m at a loss to understand why.
The first thing I did was check my file. It was pristine. Then I heard from numerous readers who had no issues—they received the full book. Still other readers complained they were charged for the preorder and never got the file. At that point, I realized the problem was with Amazon. What I couldn’t and still don’t comprehend is why readers didn’t simply contact Amazon. Why would they think I could solve the issue, when I’m not Amazon? I don’t own Amazon. I don’t control Amazon. I have no ability to refund your money, and to the lady who demanded I give back her .99-cents now, I won’t get paid for Demetrius until June. And my cut of the sale is a whopping .35-cents, so you’ll need to contact Amazon for the remaining portion, but I’ll mail you that quarter and dime if you really want it from my pocket.
But the name calling, the accusations that this was some sort of stunt to get my readers to buy a second book to find out the ending of Demetrius, and the threats—yes, the threats, were devastating. They were also dangerous, because they made me doubt myself. I thought about posting some images of the emails here, but then I decided I’m not going to poison my safe haven with that vitriol and negative energy, and I don’t want to out anyone. But I would ask the reader to remember that authors are people, too.
We work hard to bring you stories, to take you on a journey of our making, with characters of our imagination, and while negative reviews are part of the business, as we can’t please everyone, personal attacks as a result of a computer error that was beyond our control are unnecessary and uncalled for, in the grand scheme. We celebrate the highs and mourn the lows. We cry at the sight of that first sale, and every author remembers that moment, grateful that someone chose our book, amid the millions, to buy. But we can only do so much. And I’m left to wonder how some of my readers, people who actually claim a love of my work, could treat me with such disdain. Maybe I romanticized our relationship too much, as I thought we took our journeys together. What I share with the reader is immeasurably private, intensely personal, and so many all but spat in my face.
That brings me back to where I started. I’m sitting here, alone. It’s late at night, and it’s quiet. And I’m empty inside. My latest work in progress sits neglected, because I honestly have nothing to add to it. I’m preoccupied with the mess Amazon made of my release. So I’ve decided to step away from the keyboard and leave my cave, for a while; maybe a week or two. I need to move beyond what’s happened, and I can’t do that with the ever-growing number of hate mail staring me in the face. Folks, there are hundreds littering my inbox.
Readers, our goal is never to hurt you. Instead, our primary aim is to get our work into your hands. For those who got a flawed file, I am so sorry for the inconvenience. Please contact Amazon Customer Support. Use the Digital Services button, select email, and then answer their questions. Tell them there are pages missing from your copy, and they will send you a new one. From what I’ve heard, the new file appears on your device in 5-10 minutes from the time you email Amazon.
For those who’ve extended support and encouragement, I will never forget your kindness, and it’s your understanding that sustains me. To my Lady Knights, I don’t know what I’d do without you, and you’re always there for me. And to my friends in the author community, I love you dearly for your sage advice, comfort, and reassurance. It’s time to clear my head, let go of the ugliness surrounding this mess, and come back rested and recharged. I’ve got so many more books to write, and I have to honor my love of the written word, so I will see you later.
I’m truly horrified that you’ve been treated like this. It doesn’t say much for our fellow humans–and I use that term loosely.
Let me just remind you that there are thousands upon thousands of people who adore your work. Unfortunately, there are also a small number of people (even though it must feel like a horde) who have their own issues, and can’t wait to take them out on SOMEBODY. It probably has very little to do with the fact that there were errors. Some people just can’t wait to hurt people, because that’s who THEY are. They see an opening and they take it. Rest assured, however, those who know and love you appreciate every drop of the blood, sweat and tears that go into your books.
As an aside, I haven’t been able to finish Demetrius yet, because I’m so slammed creating a new business. But I read a little over 40 percent of it and I just can’t get him out of my mind. You created a truly wonderful–and apparently indelible–character. And he’s only one of many.
Barb, working with you has been a pleasure and an honor. I am not alone in saying you are one of the nicest,smartest and most professional people I have ever met. May this issue pass quickly so that your readers, and I proudly count myself among them, can read the story you wrote and not dwell on a glitch that Amazon can easily fix, whether or not they offer you an apology for their mishap.
I’m so very sorry this happened to you. All of a sudden it seems that people are striking back before they ask questions, it’s happening everywhere! I’m a reviewer for a couple blogs and would never post a review on a book because of a mistake in formatting. Even if somehow it wasn’t a mistake. There is no reason to apologize, but I can understand why you did. I hope you can get back to your work in progress and go on. This was a very unnecesaary strike against you.
No apology necessary Barbara…I have no words, I reading this brings tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry for your pain…I love your work, & would deeply miss you & it…you’ve gotten me through some painful times, Demetrius has let me escape the pain of my daughter recently miscarriage late in her pregnancy & the death of my little grandson…God bless, I wouldn’t normally share such a personal moment but you have touched many of your readers, don’t let these unhappy people ruin this for.God bless
You have endured what authors fear – something out of our control – yet you are still standing. You are the strongest woman I know and I am grateful every day for your friendship. As someone wise once said – this, too, shall pass…..
xoxo
Barbara… As long time reader having had parents who introduced books and encouraged to continue my habit, having more recently found the world of ebooks and ability to interact with my authors is such a privilege and brings another dimension to their books. Having been able to interact with you at FB parties which I have always enjoyed and have found you to be gracious, fun and increditably generous. Having become a reviewer of books , I do not understand the unnecessary criticism of books just because it did not resonate with you at the time of reading . As the majority of your Brethren inhabit all of my devices, I am saddened by these reactions to something beyond your control. Am sending healing blessings for your spirit and prayers for your soul to once again find a voice to continue to share with us it’s stories we so enjoy. BLESSINGS.
Barb, You are an inspiration. There are no apologies necessary. You are one of a kind and I’m honored to call you a friend. Xoxo
What you’ve been through is an author’s worst nightmare, but as Kathryn said, you are still standing. Your post proves how strong you truly are. I haven’t had occasion to meet you online or in person, but I’ve followed some of your posts via FB and enjoyed your lovely website. You’ve impressed me with your professionalism, your dedication, and most importantly your love for your readers and the written word.
Hold yourself high . . . you will weather this storm.
Barb,
I’m horrified for you. So much of what you said resonated with me. You are a brilliant writer and a beautiful soul. Take a mini break but come back soon. The world would be a duller place without your amazing stories. Huge hugs to you!
Do not worry the important people and fans are here for you and always will be. Let go of the haters… they will always find a reason to hate….
Just to let you know, my preordered copy downloaded just fine. I have not read it yet but I am sure I will enjoy it as much as your other books.
You’re an amazing talent, Barb, and this just shows what a warrior you are. Your stories touch so many people, so please don’t stay away too long.
Barb I am so sorry for all that you had to deal with. I admire you. Your stories are a necessity to my yearly diet and am honored to be able to promote your work because I truly love your stories. You are a kindred spirit. I look forward to that real cup of coffee sometime soon!
I am just horrified that people would behave so
badly to you, to any author.
I fear it is the general lack of
civility, polite discourse, and
kindness. It’s certainly obvious in the political sphere, but I can’t believe it
even exists among the community of readers. I most
sincerely apologize to you.
Barbara, you are an amazing author and wonderful friend. It saddens me that people seem to forget that behind that book there is a person. But, you will pour yourself into other books, because that is where your heart lies. Keep your head up, and remember we love you!
Before I read the rest, I’m sending you a hug. You are not alone sister.
<3 Ceci Giltenan
So here’s the thing–if anyone walked in a store, purchased a paperback and opened it up at home to find misprinted pages would they launch a rant on the author? No. They would take the book back to the store and get a new one that was printed properly, or get their money back. No one, and I mean NO ONE, would think to blame the author. Clearly it was the publisher’s fault. “Oh that poor author, they ruined her book.”
Why can people not see this is exactly the same thing?
Sending you another hug,
Ceci
Barbara – Firstly, let me say that I haven’t read one single word of your work, so I am neutral. After I read of the vitriol from some of your so-called ‘fans’ aimed at you, I was shocked and horrified. How could these people who profess to enjoy your writing hate so much, and in hating, aim it in the totally wrong direction? (I’m not saying it is right!)
Please do not let the words of these people lead you away from doing what you enjoy, and from what your true fans thoroughly enjoy reading. I can only hope that after you have thought long and hard on this, and return from your break, you will come to a decision that is best for you.
All the best, stay strong.
I am sick just reading this, I can’t begin to understand how you feel. I always thought avid readers were intelligent people with a strong sense of empathy as that’s what it takes to really get into a book. It is so disheartening to learn otherwise. On behalf of all readers, I sincerely apologize for the idiots among us. I am so sorry you had to experience such vile behavior.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, Barb. Clearly, the mistake had nothing to do with you. I don’t care how unfamiliar someone is with publishing, that should have been obvious right from the beginning. If I went to a bakery and ordered a cake, I wouldn’t contact the manufacturer of the fruit filling if the name under Happy Birthday was misspelled. This is exactly why I too hide in my cave instead of putting myself out there as so many other authors do. My aching heart goes out to you. :(
People today feel free to be absolute jerks because of the anonymity a computer provides. Things they would never say in front of ANYONE they feel free to spew from their keyboards because there is no one to call them on their crap. I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this, and I’d like to smack all those who attacked you upside the head.
The fact that you have social anxiety, and have chosen to fight through it and attend signings, conferences, and other events shows you very strong you are. You are an amazing person, and an amazing author, and those trolls are nothing but that: TROLLS. They will skulk back under their bridges and you will have emerged victorious, wounded perhaps, but victorious. Along with the others who have responded to your post here, I stand with you, and if you need someone smacked upside the head I’ll be happy to lay the smacketh down. You’re not alone. :)
Wow. I’m so sorry you went through this. Nobody should ever do this to another person, especially when there’s nothing you could’ve done. Stay strong, you’ll make it through this. Sending you love and positive vibes.
Wow. It absolutely saddens and sickens me to read this. I just can’t comprehend the hate and anger that people put out into this world, not to mention the lack of common sense. If I had been one of those readers who experienced that issue, my first thought would have automatically have been to contact Amazon, as they would be the ones to resolve this. Sending you lots of love and well-wishes.
Barb,
**hugs** I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and there is no apology necessary. Your books are amazing and I own every single one of them and treasure them all! I’m truly saddened that readers’ would insult you like this, it’s not your fault. You’ve poured your heart and soul into these stories and can’t be blamed for a computer glitch. Things happen and these individuals behavior shows just how selfish and cold many in our society have become! Why they would contact you and even worse attack you is just ludicrous, why not go to the source and complain to Amazon. My heart goes out to you and to those who complained; you should be ashamed and owe this lovely lady an apology!
Barbara, You are an inspiration in every facet of life and I for one have benefited enormously from your sense of humor, your grit and plain common sense, not to mention your brilliant story-telling skills.
It’s a sad truth that when we take the huge leap of faith to make our stories available to the public, we lay ourselves open to the morons who seem to have nothing better to do than hurl invective. How impoverished their lives must be.
As if a glitch in an electronic file is a reason to verbally abuse an author!
Enjoy your break, basking in the certainty that those who love you and your work FAR outnumber the twits.
Barb,
Personally, I just want to tell you not to give up. I, for one, love your books (although I’m kind of slow on the review thing – it will come). Some people are very strange and react in stranger ways when things like this happen. You’ve done a lot to address the situation and I hope that those affected by the missing pages or whatever see it for what it is: you care about us, your readers. And I sure hope that they will come to care about you as well. You’re one of those indie authors I love and respect the most. Hang on, those of us who care about you as an author and as a person will always be behind you. Hugs.
I’m so sorry you’ve suffered needlessly. Please do not allow the ill will of a select few define your status as an author or taint your gift! I haven’t had the pleasure of reading any of your stories but I will find time to support you and your work! Be well. Be happy. Be you!
Best wishes!
Barb,
Sending you all the hugs and best wishes. A horrible, horrible thing to have happened. XOXO
All of the above I agree with and could not have said it better so I will send big, big hugs!! ?
I don’t know why there is a disconnect for readers that the author, publisher and distributor are not necessarily same and that issues need to be submitted to the correct party and not just spewed venomously at the author.
I’m so sorry that you’ve suffered this. Please try to step away from the hateful, personal comments so that you can re-affirm your love and belief in yourself as a person and as a writer.
Can’t begin to say how angry I am on your behalf. Just know that there are those of us who love your work and because of that you. We are here to support you and wish you nothing but happiness and joy but most of all peace of mind. Go, relax and come back stronger…show them what you are really made of.
((Hugs)) I am so sorry you had to deal with such overwhelming negativity on what should have been an exciting release day. People can be so hateful :(
Barbara,
I don’t know you nor have I read your books…..yet. I was reading my FB page and your post turned up. Hmmmm. Anyway I am so sorry these sheeple hurt you. I too am a writer of magazine Articles, mostly political, an artist, teacher, interior designer and Mom. This being said I have a piece of advice.” f#€k em” sorry to be so bold but people like them are sheep. Stupid, uncaring, lazy bleating morons who can’t think on their own so they “assign blame” I get impatient and angry with lazy people who have so little intellectual ability, usually from lack of Study or reflection, that the slightest inconvenience sets them off. That being said, dear gentle soul, pull yourself up, have a glass of wine and learn the lesson that you have a gift. Don’t let others derail you. God Bless ?
Hang in there gal!!! I’m working to get the word out to folks I know that download your books. So far, I have not run into anyone with a bad copy. I’m sorry this is happening and the ‘Zon is not stepping up to take of its business.
Beautifully stated, and heartbreaking.
This too will pass, but how awful to have had to go through that. I’m sure it’s a small minority of your readers, but one would have been too many.
So sorry that your “book baby” had such a rocky start, and that a few of your readers attacked first and asked questions later. I’m sure the majority of your readers are just thrilled that you have a new book out, and that this will be another of those “publishing nightmares” in your rearview mirror down the road. But until then–hugs.
Wow! What an excellent and heart-wrenching post. I don’t know what happened and I haven’t yet read your work, but just because of this (and because that cover looks amazing), I am going to stalk you and read as many of your books as I’m able.
I’m so terribly sorry and disappointed this happened to you, especially on your birthday with a new release.
I think it’s great you’re taking a few weeks to step back and repair your broken heart. I am so angry that people in our little Indie Author World, as I like to dub it, do this sort of thing. On their behalf, I am so sorry.
Much peace, joy and success to you!
Tiffany Landers PA
Have You Heard? Book Blog
The thought of such horrific things being sent to you kills me it was not your error.your books….your words are well worth the wait regardless of how long it takes to reach perfection for publication those of us who realize life happens and tragedy strikes and regardless you sit down and write these magnificent tales of woe and romance set in a time that too many have forgotten when a few ever grateful people appreciate the time taken and the era long since passed. I offer these words to you as a grateful and faithful reader and a friend. Thank you for so many wonderful books that touch my heart more than you will ever know!
I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. It just amazes me that people can be so hateful. I hope that you will continue to share your work, and remember there are a lot more readers out there that love your work. It would be a shame for a few mean people to ruin it for you and your other readers. My heart goes out to you. Put your chin up and smile you have many readers who adore you.
Dear Barbara:
I have never read one of your books, but after today, I am going to.
I would like you to know that I have seen many artists of all kinds raked around in the coals for things outside of their control, and I feel for you in your sense of frustration and helplessness, and also your surprise that for some reason, people do not tend to think before they vent online, and that can lead to a lot of angst and misunderstanding.
For some reason, there seems to be a cult of negativity in the review business, and that is not just in indy publishing, but in all sorts. It is an effete attempt by some to seem intellectually superior; in others it is simply a way to be mean spirited in what they think is a safe way for them. After all, it’s fairly anonymous for them. Bear that in mind, that despite anything they say, they do not know YOU, and it is about them, not you yourself, and probably not your books or writing, even.
Take good care of yourself, and take that break to clear out the bad joss and negative feelings this has stirred up. Give yourself a moment to remember that you do write because you need to, and the stories come through you, honed and crafted, because you are a worthy person to bring them forth.
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” ~Julian of Norwich
I cannot fathom the audacity some people have to say such hurtful things to another human being! I have never read any of your books but I have many author friends and this type of behavior hurts my soul! On behalf of all the sane readers out there, I apologize for the fruit cakes sending hateful messages your way. Sane, rational readers realize you are a person first and as such, is deserving of the same respect we should always give our fellow man.
Take care of yourself!
Barb,
The same thing happened to me a ew years back. An entire chapter with a crucial climactic scene was somehow left out of the file and yes, the emails and ugly comments came into my mailbox. It caused panic and confusion when I was in a place already filled with the panic and confusion of having recently gone through a horrid divorce. Yeah, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but while you’re being figuratively killed, it feels like the whole world is collapsing around you. That feeling *will* pass and the greater majority of your readers will not give up on you. And you will emerge stronger for it, and unfortunately more cynical too, realizing there are some people out there who are never happy, regardless what you do or give. They will bitch over a type-o in a book they got for free. Most of them revel in the anonymity Amazon allows and scatter their one star reviews and irrelevant comments like catnip hoping other like-minded pillocks will join in the fun. Best advice this old Trog can offer: Use your delete button. Don’t read the reviews. Open up a new file and just keep doing what you do best: write.
Big big hugs, don’t let the idiots get you down.
You can do this!
I am so sorry for the things you are going through. Hang in there – it is worth it.
Appalling. Amazing how something so simple worked some ugly people up to be so hateful. Life is full of mishaps. How you handle them is what is important. I think you handled this with true class. Imagine how unfulfilled and miserable the lives of those hatemongers must be. While I thoroughly enjoy your books this blog ranks highly too. I’ve only read a few chapters of Demetrius so far and as usual the journey has been delectable. Take comfort in those you hold dear and know you still have plenty of support from others.
Barb – as an indie author myself, I can feel your pain. I’ve experienced a messed up release and you’re right, the vitriol that comes our way is painful to endure. I don’t think readers understand the brutality that they inflict with their callous comments.
I love this essay. It speaks to me in ways I can’t even describe. We sit in our “turrets” and weave tales for our readers. Every release is like a part of us going out into the world. No one truly understands how much we give to our readers and, as an author, that is okay. Because it is our private world that we share. Unfortunately, it is also our private pain that we have to endure when the harsh comments come back to us.
For the readers who send us encouragement and kindness, bless you! You are what sustain us during the good and the bad times, during the struggles when our plots don’t work or we have to start over – and especially when a scene turns out perfectly. We can’t wait for you to read with us.
For the readers who send us the worst their minds can inflict…consider this: when you mess up at work, maybe one or two people know. Your boss might reprimand you – but any supervisor would be fired for using some of the terms that come back at us authors. We struggle with our words – please be gentle with your reprimands as well. As authors, we can take constructive criticism. But the harshness that is sometimes sent our way…please put yourself in our position and treat us as you would like to be treated.
Barbara – keep going. Persevere. I’ve been there – it will get better.
I am ashamed that people would have written to you with such harsh things to say. I also seem to try to find the good in our fellow man but this time I am disappointed . You are one of the most kind hearted people I know and please do not listen to him. I am not sure I could do what you do under the conditions in which you do…you are such a hero to me. I am always here for you, Love.
Barbara, You are not alone! Reading this post was like looking in the mirror! I was recently part of a box set where the same thing happened. We had a perfect file and Amazon screwed up things and we lost 10,000 pre-orders. It took 2 days of begging amazon to unfreeze our author’s account and let us re-post (the same perfect file) and get it up. We weren’t able to recover all of our pre-orders and we had some upset fans. It was devastating. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Just know that we’re all with you here in this together. *Sending big e-hugs your way.
Barbara, your true fans are standing beside you, in spirit, as you write. Those are the people who matter. Not a single one of those people who sent you hate mail are your true fans. They are simply spoiled brats throwing a temper tantrum in their underwear and frankly, they look ridiculous doing so. No, they are not your fans. Ignore them. Write for those of us who love every word you bleed onto those pages. Share that inner part of you with us because we are your fans. And in being a fan, we have come to know you through your writing and we call you friend because of it. Write for us. We are here by the thousands. Forget those spoiled brats who by now have probably soiled their underwear and are looking for their mommies to come clean them up. Write for those of us who are adults and use our brains to think with. You are not alone. Write on, my friend, write on.
Oh my word xx how awful can some people be ? Authors devote their lives to make it possible for their readers to disappear into somewhere where all their own problems can be put to the back of their minds and give them well needed relief xxx I’m so sorry people have been nasty to you xx they need to get a grip !! Xx much love xx
I’m so sorry you had to endure so much negativity. I actually want to use another word but I’ll keep this “clean”. Unfortunately you were the easier target. I wish you well and hope you don’t stop doing what you love because of another’s poison. I understand how the meanies of the world are and know how hard it is to ignore. Hugs and love!
Wow! I am so sorry you had to go through this. I can’t believe the nerve of some people. When there’s a problem with any of my kindle files, like the whole book not downloading, I have NEVER blamed the author. I deleted the book, then re-downloaded it. If that doesn’t work, I’ve called Amazon. They have ALWAYS helped me with any issue I’ve had. Not once have I EVER blamed the author or written a bad review because of a technological issue. Not to call people names, but maybe some people are just too technologically illiterate to use an e-reader?
OMG! That is horrible. I am so sorry that happened to you. People can be so cruel. I actually have another friend whom attempted to write a book. It was a very good first book! She also received hate letters and has decided to never write another one. Such a shame! I hope you can get over this and keep on writing. I am a blogger and will share this post! I just bought one of your books. I have never read any of your books before so I thought I would give it a go. :)
My heart goes out to you. People never understand how we feel about our work…that it’s a part of us. And how much their comments hurt people.
I am HORRIFIED and embarrassed for the ‘fans’ that feel they must spout ugliness to get something accomplished. What happened to, ” you get more with sugar than vinegar?” And that is just about being basically NICE. Are we turning into a race of brats? BARBARA, you are kind, talented person. PLEASE dont let a stupid person, a bully, with a nasty attitude rob you or jade you in any manner. i am sorry you suffered. I have spoken to a couple of (author) friends over the past couple of weeks and one said she doesn’t even want to participate in the online games bc she has gotten nasty emails from the winners —THE WINNERS– requesting that she replace Amazon cards THEY lost, or give them books they would rather have, and the like! I just cannot fathom. So, long story short – I apologize profusely for those very loud ill mannered reprobates. I guess by your post that unfortunately they are not the exception, but I hope they are a small minority. I participate in several events and parties when I have time. I’ve seen occasional disrespect but it usually gets clamped down. The vast majority of the party goers – I think- respect and admire all of the authors. We hold you in utmost esteem, and have become friends with some. I personally am in awe of your talent- collectively. I hope Amazon took ownership. Maybe yes, maybe no- they are huge and are only interested in revenues, not the customer or the author. Sincerely- with a hug! ? Karen
Hate is a sign of our times. Sad and scary, and very personal. So sorry you were attacked so unfairly. Remember: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Best of luck going forward.
I’m very sorry this happened to you, but I appreciate you sharing your story. I don’t think many people understand the thick skin authors have to grow to survive in this business. It definitely takes its toll. Lately I have been questioning whether all of the scarifies I’ve made for my writing career have been worth it. Please know that your story touched me deeply, and I am grateful.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Too bad those who are so quick and vicious in their judgement aren’t smart enough to separate the content from the delivery system. This kind of vitriol robs us all– both those who don’t put their creations out there for fear of this kind of reaction, and those who would find value and enjoyment from the creators’ work. Dump your inbox, good, bad or neutral and begin again when you are ready. There is much love here for you.
I think that it is disgraceful what these people did to you. It certainly was not your fault and if readers wanted to let you know about the issue they could have just let you know what happened. There was no reason to tear you to shreds. Do Not be upset about the stupidity of others.
First let me say I have never read anything from you, but I am a huge indie supporter and I got teary eyed reading this. No one deserves this treatment especially an author who poured their heart and soul into a book for the community to enjoy. Please don’t give up stay positive there are plenty of people out there who love and appreciate you!
Wow! I am truly sorry that some readers attacked you in such a horrible manner. Yes you are a person behind your words. Personally I have not read your work but its very disheartening to read that an author is being attacked like this. Please know that all of the readers out here are not like the ones who cowardly came after you. Please continue to do your passion and write. I will make an effort to read your work to support you. Always remember, God is good, let all that mess that was said roll off of your back!!
So sorry that you are going through this. I have not read any of your books, but just ordered this one thru Amazon and going to give you a read. Please don’t give up but know that you have a lot of fans just by reading this!
i don’t know you and have not read your books. My heart goes out to you though as a person. Unfortunately i think social media gives people the idea that it’s OK to talk to you like they know you. That’s it’s OK to say whatever you want since they don’t actually have to face you. They can say what they want and walk away without seeing the aftermath in person. I have seen similar issues from other authors a few times with the same result. I don’t understand why anyone would contact the author instead of the place they bought it from like any other product. It’s common sense to go back to where you got it. I hope you can take the time you need to regroup and move on and not let petty people effect you and your writing. I’m sure you have many readers who have your back and are excited for your next book. Big hugs.
What? I can’t believe this happened! I’m so sorry! There are people who understand and won’t attack you personally. I’m so sorry that there are so many more–hundreds, apparently–who have “reached out” with anger, hate, and rage over the problem. I’m so sorry you had this experience. I feel terrible. Please come back to writing. And thank you for putting up this post. It must have taken tremendous courage.
So sorry to hear that. A similar but not the same thing happened to a writer friend of mine. We were all horrified to see that an old version of her book was released (despite all her best efforts) giving the impression it has not been edited. Amazon problem which has been rectified to the extent that it was possible but some damage had been done. All we can do is learn from it and move on. Congratulations on your release it’s a great achievement to get a book out there and I know personally how much work is involved so may this book soar despite the rocky start.
Oh, no, I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I think that how you’ve been treated is unfair and so unkind. <3
Barbara,
I am moved by your story and so sorry that you have experienced this kind of negativity from your readers. Speaking as an author and a reader, there is only so much of the process we can control. Releasing a book is like sending your child out into the world, the fact that this was clearly a technical problem should have been understood by the audience. I would never contact the author to complain or threaten them over an incomplete file. The lack of patience and understanding astounds me. Do not let this dim your creative light.
I’m so sorry to read about your horrible experience. There’s something about electronic communication that brings out the worst in some people. Please stay strong and don’t let this affect you. Here’s to many more books and to making a lot of loyal readers very happy.
I personally have never read any of your books, but that could be because they fall into a genre I’m not reading. I do have to say, no one should ever send you hate mail because of a glitch. I have contacted many authors who’ve had problems with Amazon publishing the full file, unedited files, etc. My purpose in contacting the authors is to give them a friendly heads up that there is a problem and they need to be made aware of it before fallout occurs. I wait for their response then contact amazon to get the correct version. It really is simple and people need to think carefully before they act because, by sending you hate mail, they are showing their true nasty colors.
May you have success after your break! I will check out your books! ?
Barbara,
Hugs. You are not alone. It may feel like it, but there are authors and many readers standing with you in a show of support. There is no defense for vile attacks.
I toast you for speaking out. And as you know, all emotions can feel funneled into a character for a future book.
I am so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s crazy to me that people would assume an error was some kind of ploy on your part to get them to buy more books. Are people really so cynical? Thank you for opening up in your post, I’m sure many of us can relate. I feel as confined to the writing cave as you do, and I also get very nervous! Authors are more accessible now than ever, you’d think people would realize we’re human. Stay strong x
I’m so sorry to hear this, Barbara. The readers who bashed you ought to know better.
We all deal with hardware/software glitches from time to time. That’s just a fact of life in the Internet Age.
Your detractors should’ve realized that. Instead, they blamed the person who has the least power. An old story!
I hope Amazon will straighten out this mess, the sooner the better. And will see to it that it doesn’t happen again, to you or anyone.
In the meantime, your online tribe is with you all the way. Hang in there!
Barbara,
I have never read your books but it truly saddens me that this happened to you. I would hope that your readers are intelligent people and finally realize their anger was misdirected towards you. All you can do is move forward and continue doing what you love. I hope that includes writing. It would a shame if a few people made you feel like you are not appreciated. I’m sure there are a ton of people who love your books and would be heartbroken if you took this too personally. It was a mistake and everyone can move forward.
On another note, I think it’s time I tried one of your books, don’t you think?
I saw this on Facebook and as I read this blog post, I could only imagine how devastating this must feel. As an author myself, I know what its like to miss out on things that friends and family are doing while I’m hiding away writing that next novel. It’s a lonely profession but we’re driven to write. Take that break and give yourself time to clear the negativity that this situation brought into your life. I know you’ll rally back and move forward on that work in progress. Your true fans/readers will remain loyal. They buy your books because they love your books. Concentrate on that and let their positive energy bring you back to your normal routine. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Barbara. May tomorrow be better and remember you have a whole author community who is standing behind you. Stay strong. You are not alone!
All the best, Sherry Ewing
Oh my goodness! Please don’t let the nasty comments of others cause you anymore angst. It’s not not worth it.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and thank you for sharing your experience. As an Amazon user, if I have an issue I contact the seller – respectfully – and if I don’t receive a response, I reach out to Amazon.
God Bless you and may you continue to write amazing novels. Thanks to another indie author who shared this on her Facebook Fan Page, you now have a new reader in me.
I’m so sorry people treated you so poorly and with sure vicious comments.
That being said, don’t give up on what you love doing. In July at the RWA conference I will be signing at the indie author event. If I get a chance and you are there I will definitely stop by to give you support.
Please don’t walk away from what you love most because there are far more lovers than haters in this world, even thought it doesn’t seem like it from where you’re sitting, Barbara. True fans would NEVER do what those imbeciles did to you and I apologize for their behavior. There are outside forces that promote hate and Facebook attracts people who hate themselves so much they have to make others feel bad as worthless as they do. I don’t know you and have never read your books but you can count on me to be a friend. Sending hugs and prayers from NE Ohio.
First of all, it breaks my heart that you had to go through something like that. As an author myself, I know what it feels like to spend hundreds and hundreds of hours polishing a manuscript to absolute perfection, and then sending it out into the world and hoping people will love it as much as you do. For that wonderful feeling to be destroyed by A) a mega-corporation being incompetent, and B) readers who apparently lack basic common sense, is just horrible.
I genuinely hope this post reaches some of those readers who sent you hate mail. I don’t think it will, but I hope. After all, people who write hate mail to authors they claim to love aren’t really the sort of people who are able to listen to reason. It’s a sad but true fact. If you’re able, get a friend to go through your inbox and delete all the hate mail. It’s not a step you should have to take at all, but people can be incredibly stupid and hurtful, and there’s not much we can do about that.
At the end of the day, I urge you to remember the good times, not the bad. You write because you love to write, and you’re writing for people who love to read. There are idiots out there, and as hard as it is to ignore them, you just have to. There’s no getting around it–some people are just mean. But some people are warm, kind, and amazing, and those are the sorts of readers who leave you 5-star reviews and squeal with excitement every time you publish a new book. And they’re definitely out there–you just have to get through a few thorns to find the roses :)
I found this link on author Gayle Trent’s post on FB. I could not be more horrified by the rudeness of my fellow readers. Shame on them! If they have enough intellegence to read, they should also have enough to figure out that a DOWNLOAD problem lies with Amazon, not you. Shake it off and file 13 the rude remarks. Your true friends and fans know better!
Barbara, I haven’t had the pleasure of reading your books yet but I can just say that this experience should not stop you from writing. There are no shortages of dumb and cruel people out there who somehow get their jollies from being bullies online, but there are also those who have your back.
I think people often forget that there is a soul behind the written words on the page. Take whatever reprieve you need and come back full force and ready to kick some butt! After all, you can take those “readers” that threatened and bullied you and write them in one of your stories, just so you can kill them off. ;)
It’s terrible what happened, and I hope all these kind messages will make your day a little bit brighter.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I don’t understand why none of them would stop and think that maybe a mistake had happened? It happens all the time with technology and when it does happen why the need for such a horrid reaction? They obviously have the internet and access to Amazon to seek information as to what happened. Then they could have just contacted the ebook retailer to find a solution. Sometimes I really feel like I don’t understand people at all. But then I saw all the comments here ( I hope you will come back soon and see them too) and realize that there are others just like me that can’t ever understand the hatred and anger towards something out of your control. I do hope that these comments from all these rational and caring people will end up outweighing the negative for you. Your craft and hardwork IS appreciated more than you know. I was always very poor as a child and books were and are still my escape to places and things I would never be able to see or enjoy otherwise. There is a meme I post a lot , Authors Are My Rock Stars and they and you are! I am so sorry that there are so many of my fellow human beings that treated you so harshly and I hope that they if they see this that they will remind themselves of their human qualities of comapassion and empathy. Just like words that have the power to let you live another life in another world they also have to power to do harm. Hugs Crystal
What floors me about this is the nerve of anyone to threaten someone over something so ridiculous. It’s disappointing to say the least. I would never drive to someone else’s place of employment and publically bully them for bad service, especially if it really wasn’t their fault at all. Keep writing – don’t let them take that from you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this! Huge hugs!!! Dee
Wow! I’m just amazed at the ugliness of people. *shakes head* How can people treat someone they profess to “love” in such a disrespectful manner? Please stay strong and rise above their ugliness. Sending ((hugs)) and positive thoughts your way. Stay strong!
Saw these quotes:
“Don’t let negative & toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent & kick them out.”
“When negativity comes knocking, refuse to open the door.”
I am heartbroken to hear about what you’re going through. I’m so sorry. I’ll be praying this issue is resolved quickly for you and your fans.
I confess I have not read any of your books but having read your blog I am absolutely appalled that you have been vilified in this way. What happened is no fault of your own and you should not be treated this way. Mistakes happen even by corporations like Amazon. Nobody is infallible even those who chose to verbally abuse you. You have responded with grace and dignity. They cannot be true fans to treat you so. Big hugs from me x
You’re not alone, Barb. As a fellow writer, if you venture to RWA again, I would be glad to meet you. Such a beautiful post.
I’m sooooo sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine how devastating that would be.
Hi I have never read your work and learned of this post through a share on Facebook. I just wanted to say I’m truly sorry you were treated this way. If it helps in any way I offer my hand of support and word of encouragement. I’ve seen the other comments and hope they comfort you as well.
The “alone-ness” you describe for a true author is poignantly done. There are few of us who have not faced something similar. I know the devastation exists, but please do not permit these people to win by walking away from your craft.
I’m sorry people are being so cruel to you. It’s a sad reflection on them and not you. This too shall pass. In the meantime, take care of yourself and come back to us soon.
It is beyond me how any reader feels it’s ok to write something negative to an author but for a broken file it’s even more insane. YOU didn’t send them the file. Why they wouldn’t go directly to vender? I’m so sorry this happened. I have never read your work but after reading this I’m going to buy a copy of this book. So on the bright side, at least the situation brought you to my attention.
{{{{{hugs}}}}
An author I follow shared this on their fb page. I have never read your work, but after reading this I will! You poor thing! You need an assistant that can read the negative, toxic emails, posts etc. I wish some people would pause before they do hateful things. Things like this make my heart hurt. Good luck to you. You sound like a really nice person and I hope all the positive remarks you receive overshadow the negative ?
This is beautifully written, and I admire your candor. I completely understand your desire to remain private, even while I recognize in today’s world people like us (because I feel the exact same way) are a vanishing breed. The people who were ugly to you should be ashamed of themselves; all they accomplished was making themselves look like self-absorbed, entitled fools. I’m grateful I heard about this, because now I can buy your book and consider it my thumbed-nose, as it were, to those who deserve it.
Hey, Barb. On behalf of fellow readers I apologize to you for the hurtful words sent your way. But guess what? Those folks are assholes. Not that misdirected anger is excusable, but it does say a lot about the way knee jerk reactions are made. Hang in there! Don’t let THOSE PEOPLE get to you! Gotta run, I have a book to buy. ?
This is indeed a horrific situation for you, and I can only imagine the pain your readers’ words left in our heart. As an indie author, I cringe thinking that this could happen to me…something beyond my control. Authors take a chance just by being an author–some will love our work, some will hate it, others will be flippant about it. I’m sorry this happened to you. But on the bright side, and I am not trying to be dismissive in any way, you HAVE readers. You are blessed with people who love your work so much they pre-order your books, and readers who are so passionate they react the way they did. I will purchase you book because of that. And because I love your cover, too. This too shall pass, Barbara. You are right–we write because we have no choice.
Barb, I’ve never heard of you until just now, and while my 35 cents is worth exactly that right now, I do want to send you a giant Internet hug, because that sort of behavior from anyone is reprehensible, and the anonymity of the Internet has created monsters. I am sorry you were treated that way, and despite your inclination to hide, I am so thankful that you stepped up to say this. I hope it gets to the right eyes.
I will champion your book everywhere because it’s beautiful, and I will certainly never take anger and frustration out on authors. Without you authors writing, my imagination would be homeless. Thank you for continuing to write, and I’m sorry for those who hurt you.
Hi,
I got here via Grace Draven. Very sorry to hear this has happened to you. I can see why people would think you might have uploaded a faulty file ( hey, mistakes happen), but that is no reason to be an asshole about it. There’s a good procedure in place that is a lot more sensible then sending threatening mails to authors.
Oh, and I just bought your book, so even though I am sure it was a horrible experience you got new readers out of it, too!
Barbara, Living with a shy person myself I completely understand any discomfort you feel in social situations. I’ve seen it exhibited by one of my children. Being a woman on social media seems to compound the issue as some feel compelled to vomit vitriol at our heads merely for stating an opinion. Unfortunately many folks do not understand “the man behind the current” effect of social and web based media and would rather talk (or yell) at the name they know rather than the random electronic stranger they don’t know and can’t really find on a retail site. As a former reviewer I know how important the reviews are to get your books sold and I hardily wish that these sites had a better review of the reviews process to eliminate obvious technical issues as they are out of your control. But think about this, we as humans can “choose” to become offended or we can “choose” to laugh it off. No matter what someone else’s intentions are, no matter what vitriol they spit at us we can “choose” to walk away or in this case delete an email or even perhaps send back a polite but canned response. If you allow others to dictate your level of happiness in this moment it’s time you can’t get back. You could do what I do, which when I have had enough I shout “Pax!” Which in Latin means Peace, but when shouted can also mean “Enough!” “Silence!” Or essentially “Give me Peace!” surprisingly it’s almost as good as a well placed “Eff You”, when someone truly pisses me off and confuses my audience mightily. LOL I wish you peace, may the blessings of the universe shine on you.
I LOVE the authors that I read. I truly view the work of the authors that I read, as gifts to the world. I am so sorry you had unkind comments come your way. (I personally would consider “firing” those readers and re-hiring ones that support you the way your SHOULD be supported)
I read this, from a post made by one of my favorite authors, Grace Draven. And because of this I will be buying some of your work and sending my gratitude and support your way, going forward. (Consider me one of your “new hires” )
Please know, that there are so many in this world who are truly good people. When unkind behavior happens it says everything about what that person carries inside of them….and nothing to do with you.
Blessings on your new release!!
I also arrived here via Grace Draven, and I have to say I’m shocked. Anyone who thinks that a failed book download is the author’s fault needs to learn more about the process. Writers are a gift to those who seek to enjoy other worlds and other lives through their words. I appreciate every word. Now that I’ve found you, I’m off to Amazon to buy your books. Bless you, keep on writing, and thank you for what you do.
Although your name is familiar, I have not read any of your books yet. After reading what happened to you and some people’s responses, I am truly horrified that readers would be so awful. I have occasionally had problems with amazon and always contacted them, certainly never the author. I hope you will continue writing and not let the dark side get you down, although I know that is easier said than done. I, too, would be devastated to get hate mail when I had done nothing wrong. It’s a scary feeling when you hit that publish button and people don’t realize how much of yourself you put out for the world to see. I see over 100 of us writing encouraging letters to you, keep that in mind when a bad one comes in. Take care. I think I’ll go on amazon now and buy one of your books!!
I just want to add my voice to those urging you to look past the ignorance of deranged consumers. I can honestly say it would never occur to me to blame a bad file on an author. I hope you can find the strength to pay more attention to those of us that are lacking such random, heat-seeking hate, and less to TheOther People. ? Blessed Be.
I am so sorry to hear that you were attach in such a way for an error not of your making. Please try to ignore the ignorant rants of haters who are obviously not real fans and plainly not good people either. And hold on to the love, support and positive comments from family, friends and real fans. Your efforts are appeciated.